


Yule Be Mine

by thisdorkyficthing



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Eventual Smut, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Hate to Love, Just... So much fluff, M/M, Romance, Sneaky Frigga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 04:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2838779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisdorkyficthing/pseuds/thisdorkyficthing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I – I may have told a small, tiny, lie to my mother about seeing someone and, somehow, I got roped into bringing them home to meet them.”</p>
<p>“You're asking me to help you continue to lie to your mother.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One December Morning...

“Are you going to eventually ask me for something or are you planning to just hang around my desk all day?” Loki asked archly, leaning back in his seat to look up at Thor, crossing his arms.

“I – Uhh,” Thor started with a frown, “this is going to sound _really_ weird.”

Loki slowly raised an eyebrow at him, saying nothing. Thor continued to squirm.

“Will you come to my parents house with me for Christmas,” he finally blurted out in one breath.

Loki’s face twisted in confusion. “ _What?_ ”

Thor sighed. “I – I may have told a small, _tiny_ , lie to my mother about seeing someone and, _somehow_ , I got roped into bringing them home to meet them.”

“You’re asking _me_ to help you continue to lie to your mother.”

Thor’s face twisted into a grimace for a flash before smoothing out. “More or less.”

“Do you really expect me to waste _my_ vacation singing carols in hideous sweaters, or whatever it is you and your family do, when I just barely tolerate your presence on a good day?”

Thor sighed again, a harsh huff of breath as he planted both hands on Loki’s desk, his head hanging limp from his broad shoulders. “I am willing to compensate you in _any_ way you see fit.” He lifted his head and looked back up at Loki, blue eyes pleading.

Loki pursed his lips, tapping his pen on his chin as he pondered. “Why me?” He asked quietly a few moments later.

Thor shrugged. “I figured you wouldn’t have any obligations to see anyone over the holidays, and you’re really good at… pretending.”

Loki raised his eyebrow at Thor again, but said nothing, looking away from Thor as he thought it over some more. “How long?”

“Two weeks,” Thor answered, sounding cautious, yet hopeful.

Loki nodded his head a little, tapping his pen a few more times. “Alright.”

Thor raised his eyebrows, a small smile creeping on to his face. “Really?”

Loki dropped his pen on to his desk, leaning forward and resting on his elbows, fingers knitting together. “As for my terms-” He hummed, reaching up to trace his bottom lip with one finger. “You will pay me one-hundred and fifty dollars for each day. That will cover all the kissing, touching, you know _couple-y stuff_ , and any stories I have to make up for the amusement of your parents…”

Thor clenched his jaw, but nodded anyways.

“And a twenty dollar fee for any weird stuff.”

“Weird stuff?” Thor gave him an incredulous look.

Loki smirked. “That is to be determined by me as it happens.”

“ _Fine_.”

“ _And_ you have to buy me a gift. A _good_ one. This _is_ our first Christmas together, after all,” Loki said sweetly, fluttering his eyelashes at Thor.

Thor rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

Loki sat up, holding his hand out to Thor. “I believe we have a deal.”

Thor huffed audibly through his nose, taking Loki’s hand, his grip _just_ shy of crushing, and gave it a shake, both of them pulling their hands back as fast as possible. Thor’s shoulders sagged after letting go, standing straight and tugging the sleeves of his overly tight, in Loki’s opinion, dress shirt down. “Thank you, Loki. And I really mean that.”

Loki snickered and rolled his eyes. He turned his attention back to his computer without another word, watching Thor from the corner of his eye as he turned and slowly made his way out of Loki’s office. “I do have one more question,” he said as Thor reached the door, making him stop and turn back.

“Are they _expecting_ a boyfriend or…?”

“Yeah. She, uh, sort of started hinting about grandkids-”

“ _Ah_. So you’re _not_ -”

“I am actually,” Thor interrupted, making Loki raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“Well, this has been an interesting little meeting,” Loki said as the silence began to drag.

Thor snorted. “Thank you again, Loki.”

“You’re welcome, _lover_ ,” Loki purred.

Thor made a disgusted sound and quickly marched out of his office, shutting the door a little too loudly.

Loki stared at it for a minute before shaking his head and laughing quietly to himself. He picked up his phone and tapped on the screen. “Looks like I have a flight to cancel.”


	2. Meet The Parents

Thor was sweating profusely. He yanked off his coat about ten minutes in to the six hour drive, but the sweater he was wearing was doing it’s job far too well. The thick knit and sort of beige color made him think it looked like wearable oatmeal and he kind of hated the thing, but his mother gave it to him and Thor knew if she didn’t see him wear it at least once she’d make a sad face and he’d instantly feel immensely guilty. So, as begrudgingly as he got out of bed that morning, he pulled the thing over his head and dragged himself out the door.

Loki shifted around in the passenger seat, sighing heavily. He’d stripped off his own coat a little bit after Thor did, leaving him in just a tight black turtleneck and equally tight black jeans, Thor had barely resisted rolling his eyes and making a joke about going to a funeral. Loki kicked his leg out as far as he could in the car, and with the way he had his arms wrapped tightly around his chest and the slight pout he wore, he looked a bit like a bratty kid to Thor.

“My leg is cramping up.”

Thor glanced at the clock on the dash, his gaze quickly going back to the wet, slat-crusted highway before them. “We’ve got a little over a half-hour before we get there.” _Thank god_. As little as he was looking forward to pretending he enjoyed Loki’s company, this six hour long awkward silence was _really_ fraying his nerves.

Loki huffed loudly, his hand darting into Thor’s vision as he changed the radio station _again_ , skinny finger jabbing at the buttons with an unnecessary amount of aggressiveness.

“So,” Loki started when he finally settled on a station, an annoyingly upbeat Christmas song playing softly and clearly through the speakers, “tell me a little more about _us_.”

Thor’s lip curled. He answered with a shrug.

Loki let out a dramatic, exasperated sigh. “What have you told your mother?”

“Not much, really, just that I’ve been seeing someone.”

“How long?”

Thor shrugged again. “I don’t know, a couple months?”

Loki chuckled. “ _Wow_. Dating for such a short time and already bringing me home to mom. I must be _special._ ”

Thor sighed quietly.

“Okay. We’ve been dating for a while, about six months.”

“Six months?”

“If either of your parents ask you why you didn’t say anything sooner just tell them that we wanted to keep things casual. We were feeling things out and all that.”

“Alright.”

“We met at work, since that _is_ true. We’d been subtly flirting for _weeks_ at meetings before you _finally_ gathered the courage to ask me out for coffee, which you spilled all over yourself, you clumsy little thing. And things just went on from there. I’m sure we’ll be able to think of anything else as it is needed.”

Thor looked over to Loki, unable to conceal his bewilderment.

Thor corner of Loki’s lip curled into a sharp, cockeyed smirk. “You did say I was good at _pretending_ , right Thor?”

Thor looked back the road. It was beginning to snow again. Great.

“This is going to be the longest two weeks of my life.”

“ _Your_ life,” Loki scoffed, turning away from Thor as much as he could manage in his seat.

His mother opened the door with a beaming smile. “You made it! I was worried the weather was going to force you to stop,” she said as she ushered them both inside. Her smile grew even broader as soon as she laid her eyes on Loki, looking over to Thor expectantly.

“Oh.” Thor cleared his throat, “this is Loki. Loki, this is my mother, Frigga.”

Loki put on a pleasant smile, holding his hand out to her but was instead swept into a tight hug that shoved air from his lungs. “Pleasure to meet you,” he said with a wheeze.

Frigga pulled back, smirking at him as she took his hands in hers. “The pleasure is all mine. I am sorry to say that Thor hasn’t told me much about you at all,” she said, giving a pointed glance at Thor. She leaned in closer, her voice lowering, “that’s okay though, that just gives us a lot to talk about while you’re here.”

Loki laughed, sounding only somewhat forced. “Fantastic.”

Thor dropped their bags to the floor, silently wondering if Loki packed his full of bricks, and began pulling off his coat. “Where’s dad?”

“He’s up in his office.” She turned towards the stairs and shouted, “ _ODIN!_ Thor and his boyfriend are here!”

Thor and Loki winced.

There was a muffled grumbling from somewhere upstairs and moments later his father was ambling down towards them, smiling broadly. He greeted Thor with a hard clap to the shoulder and a hearty laugh. “It’s good to see you again.” He looked over to Loki then back at Thor. “And who’s this here?”

Thor let out a slightly uncomfortable laugh, hesitating as he wrapped an arm around Loki’s shoulders. “This is Loki. My boyfriend,” he said, the word practically grinding out of him.

Loki smiled, pulling his hand out from where he had taken off his coat and folded it over his arms and offered it to Odin, his eyes glancing at the eye patch he wore. Odin took his hand, his grip firm, and shook it few times before releasing. “Frigga has been all a-flutter about you all week. I’m sure she’s dying to ask you a _million_ questions-”

“Odin,” she chided, slapping him on the arm. He rolled his eye at Thor.

“ _Well_ ,” Frigga started after conversation lulled for just a little too long, “I’m sure you two want to get all settled in. I set up the guest room for you, and since dinner is still a few hours away so feel free to take as long as you want.”

Thor was staring at the bed, scratching the back of his neck as he contemplated the sleeping situation. It was a full size, just big enough to fit the both of them, but they were going to be _close_. Loki was walking around the room, examining it, flicking at one of the undersized ornaments on the small tree that Thor’s mother had set up on the dresser.

It wasn’t a particularly large room, with just enough space to comfortably walk around the bed. It was going to be… somewhat cramped for them. Loki looked around, Frigga managed to cram as many Christmas decorations as she could into the space, it seemed. Garlands hanging above the lone window and draped across the headboard, a wreath just above _that_ , plus some more sparkly things here and there. “How festive.”

Thor sighed and pulled his suitcase on to the mattress and began unpacking. Loki walked into the small bathroom attached to the room, flicking on the light to poke around in there too.

“There’s _another_ tree on here. Honestly, who decorates a _toilet?_ ”

“She likes to decorate,” Thor replied a little defensively as he pulled out a stack of neatly folded clothes and put them into one of the dresser drawers.

Loki opened the medicine cabinet and let out a bark of laughter.

“What?”

Loki grabbed the box and leaned in the doorway, holding the box up for Thor with a raised brow and a smirk.

Thor’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull and he surged forward, snatching it out of Loki’s hand. “ _Condoms!?_ ”

“I’m just glad _these_ aren’t holiday themed too,” Loki chuckled, grabbing the box back to look it over.

Thor groaned and marched out of the room. “Mother!”

“I just wanted to make sure that you two were _prepared_ should you want to, _you know_ …”

Thor groaned again, covering his face with his hands as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “Mom, that so… _weird_. And gross.”

She laughed softly as she stirred something in a large pot. “It’s not like I don’t know what adults _do_ , honey.”

“Can we just pretend that we don’t,” Thor said, in a voice that sounded close to a whine.

Frigga shook her head at him. “Oh, Thor.”

“Don’t ‘ _oh, Thor_ ' me.”

Dinner was long, or it felt long, with Loki lying smoothly about their relationship and Thor lying… less smoothly, when necessary. Loki added a few too many stories of Thor being clumsy for Thor’s liking, but he wasn’t as good with coming up with stories on the spot so he settled for grinding the heel of his foot on to Loki’s toes. He pushed harder and harder until Loki couldn’t hold back his grimace of pain, his own a expression a perfectly pleasant grin.

Loki hissed as he sat down on one side of the bed and pulled off his shoe, wiggling his toes carefully. “You nearly broke one of my toes, asshole.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, voice full of false sincerity, looking over his shoulder and plastering a big smile on his face, “I’m just _so_ _clumsy_ , but, _you_ should know that.”

Loki glared at him before turning back to examine his foot more. “Stupid meatheaded _brute-_ ”

“Asshole,” Thor hissed back, standing up form the bed. “I’m gonna go get something to drink.”

“Whatever,” Loki said as he pulled off his other shoe.

Thor shut the door behind him silently, going down the stair with light feet and heading towards the kitchen. He stopped when he heard his parents talking in the living room, their voices soft and low as they huddled together on the couch.

“You don’t think something seems _off_ between them?”

His mother shrugged her shoulders, laying her head on his father’s shoulder. “I think they just need a few days to get comfortable.”

“If they’ve been together for as long as they _say_ they have-”

“I know, I know. But this is the first person Thor’s brought home since Jane and Loki’s never met us before, they’re both probably just nervous.”

His father grumbled something Thor couldn’t quite make out, not that it mattered much, since he was already dashing up the stairs two at a time.

“I think my parents are suspicious.”

Loki scoffed at him from the bed, “yeah right, I was _perfect._ ”

Thor rolled his eyes for the hundredth time that day. “I heard them talking downstairs.”

“Then maybe _you_ should try a little harder to look like an even remotely decent boyfriend.”

Thor huffed, nostrils flaring, looking away from Loki and heading for the dresser. He paused after pulling his shirt off, feeling eyes in him, and looked back at Loki, who was watching him.

Loki was sneering. “Do you _live_ in a gym?”

Thor turned towards him, yet another fake smile making an appearance on his face. “It’s kind of dark in here, do you need me to turn on another light.”

Loki said something under his breath and turned off the bedside lamp, laying so his back was to Thor and pulling the blankets up to his chin.

Thor laughed to himself, shaking his head as he tossed his shirt to the floor, stripping down the rest of the way and putting on some rarely worn pajamas. He hesitated before finally slipping into bed, his back to Loki’s and already feeling too hot with the added heat of clothes and Loki beside him. He pressed his face into the pillow and clamped his eyes shut.

This was going to be a _long_ night.


	3. Festive Bacon

Loki woke to a strange, rhythmic _swishing_ sound. He laid there for a moment, just listening to the sound and attempting to decipher it before rolling over. He found the other side of the bed empty and a caught a blur of movement with groggy eyes. Pushing himself up a bit, he saw Thor. On the floor. Doing pushups. Vigorously. Shirtlessly.

Loki made a sound in his throat and grabbed Thor’s pillow , whipping it at him as hard as he could manage. Thor let out a startled grunt, dropping on to his knees as he stopped to glare up at him.

“Be _quiet_ you fucking weirdo,” Loki snapped, voice rough and thick from sleep, and dropped back down, burying his head under his own pillow. Thor muttered something and simply went back to doing what he what he was doing before. Loki angrily kicked the bedding that had tangled itself around his legs, pressing his hand on the pillow over the spot where his ear was under it, trying to block the sound of Thor’s huffing and puffing with little success.

Loki poured some sugar into his mug of coffee, ignoring Thor’s raised eyebrow as he kept pouring and began to stir it noisily with a spoon.

“Breakfast, Loki?” Frigga asked from somewhere behind him.

“I don’t really-” A plate was set before him before he could finish his sentence. He faced down a good-sized pile of scrambled eggs, slice after slice of bacon, and two thick pieces of toast.

“There you go,” she said cheerily, patting Loki’s shoulder before turning back to the stove to fix her own plate. He looked up at Thor, who had an amused look on his face as he bit into one of his slices of toast.

Odin, whose own breakfast was oatmeal with some berries thrown on top, gestured at Thor and wordlessly, he pushed his plate towards his father, letting him steal a couple slices of bacon from his plate.

“Don’t you dare!”

Odin froze. Bacon halfway to his mouth as Frigga pointed her spatula at him.

“You put that bacon back on Thor’s plate right now.”

“But Frigga-”

“You know what the doctor said,” she interrupted sternly, setting the spatula down and turning around, hands on her hips.

“But it’s almost Christmas!” Odin countered somewhat weakly.

A soft smile came on to Frigga’s face, hands falling as she walked over to Odin, bending to kiss his cheek and pry the bacon from his fingers and drop them back to Thor’s plate. “And I intend to have you with me for many, many more. So, _no bacon_.” She looked at Thor then. “And you, don’t let your father eat off your plate.” Thor just shrugged.

Odin grumbled, but relented, jabbing at his bowl of oatmeal even as Frigga placed another kiss on his cheek and walked away. “You enjoy that for me,” he said forlornly to Thor.

Thor chuckled, biting off half a piece in one go and moaning loudly.

“Well, no need to be an ass about it.”

Loki raised a brow as he watched over the rim of his coffee mug. Frigga sat down beside him, smiling softly and gesturing towards his plate. “Go on and eat before it get’s cold, darling.”

Loki had been reading the book he’d brought along for at almost an hour before Thor came barging in. His cheeks and nose were bright red and his jeans were soaked from the knee down.

“What have you been doing?”

“My dad wrangled me into fixing up some things around the house for him,” Thor grumbled as he scrubbed a hand through his hair, flattened to his head by his hat and sweat.

“There’s like, a foot of snow.”

“I know,” Thor started, hissing softly as he tugged off his wet socks and tossed them away haphazardly, “that’s why he tricked _me_ into doing them.” Back to Loki, he began pushing his pants down his hips, at which point Loki focused his gaze back on to his book. Until Thor tossed _those_ away with abandon as well.

Loki eyed the discarded clothes, which were soon joined by Thor’s t-shirt, with disdain. “Do you always just throw around your clothes like that?”

“Hm?” Thor turned from where he’d begun digging through one of the dresser drawers, now only in a pair of flimsy boxers, forcing Loki to keep his focus on Thor’s clothes.

Loki gestured towards the pile of wet denim on the floor and spoke slowly. “Do you always do _that?_ ”

Thor shrugged. “I’ll pick it up in a bit.”

Loki sighed dramatically, marking his page and dropping the book to the bed before getting up and picking up Thor’s jeans. “You’re like an overgrown child, honestly,” Loki said, shaking his pants out and laying them on the end of the bed.

“Yeah, well, you snore.”

Loki scoffed, bending to pick up his shirt. “I do not _snore_.”

“You do. Although I guess it _is_ a bit more of a _snort_ ,” he said, snorting softly a few times to emphasize.

Loki growled and jabbed at him with an elbow, which didn’t seem to do much to Loki’s ever-growing annoyance, since he just laughed it off and went back to digging around for clothes.

“ _Child._ ”

Thor snorted again.

Loki wasn’t sure how it happened exactly, but at some point after dinner he and Thor were wrangled into the living room by Frigga and politely forced into watching _It’s a Wonderful Life,_ which wouldn’t had been so bad if hadn’t meant they would be forced to cuddle for two hours straight. All four of them sat on the couch, with Thor sprawled out at one end, Loki and Frigga in the middle and Odin at the other end. Thor had his arm slung around Loki’s shoulders, leaning just enough so that some of his weight was resting on Loki, and their thighs firmly pressed together. About an hour in and the closeness had started to make Loki twitch.

It didn’t help that Frigga kept glancing over at them every few minutes, like she was looking for something. Loki forced himself to shift a bit closer to Thor, nestling himself a little deeper under Thor’s arm and then, with a bit of reluctance, laid his head on Thor’s shoulder. Thor stiffened until his mom glanced over again, smiling at the slight change in their position, and then relaxed.

They sat like that for the rest of the movie, hardly a twitch of a limb from either one of them. Loki lifted his head when the credits began to roll, his neck giving a twinge of pain that made him grimace.

Frigga sighed happily, leaning on to Odin dramatically, which made the man smile. “I love that movie.”

“Me too, darling.”

Frigga looked over at them, grinning. “And thank you two for indulging in the whims of a poor old woman.”

Thor scoffed, “you’re not _old_.”

“I love how fast you said that,” she said as she stood, moving in front of them and laying a kiss on Thor’s cheek, and then, to Loki’s surprise, his.

She sighed again and stood, brushing her hands on her thighs. “Okay, you two are officially free of us for the night, pretend we’re not even under the same roof,” she said, and Odin chuckled as he pushed himself off the couch and stood. He held his hand out to Frigga as they all said goodnight to each other, finally tugging her out of the room a minute or so later.

Thor and Loki nearly jumped away from each other as soon as their footsteps faded.

Loki bent his head in every direction. “My neck is stiff now.”

Thor just grumbled, switching from the movie to television and flipping through the channels.

“Is your mother always that… touchy?”

Thor shrugged , not looking away from the tv screen. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You could’ve warned me.”

Thor let out a bark of laughter. “I assumed you wouldn’t be thrown off by _hugs_.”

“Whatever, I’m going to read,” Loki huffed, standing up and walking out of the room.

The bed dipped as Thor laid down behind him, the springs creaking softly.

“Are you seriously freaked out by hugging?”

“ _No,_ ” Loki snapped, his eyes still clamped shut. “I’m just not used to it. I guess.”

“What, did your mom-”

Loki cut him off with a gesture that he managed to still see in the dark. “You are the _last_ person I am going to get in this conversation with, so just leave it alone.”

The bed squeaked as Thor turned over. “ _Fine_.”

“How did you know I wasn’t asleep?”

“You _snore_.”

“I do not snore!”

“Do too.”


	4. Grease Covered Aphrodisiac

“You should take Loki out. You two have been cooped up with me and Frigga since you got here and it’s got to be getting boring. It’s like you’re hiding the poor fella.”

Thor’s mouth hung open as he searched for a response. His father had brought him along to the hardware store to pick up some part for some other thing in the house that he’d be getting Thor to fix. “ _Uhh_ ,” he said, finally, and his dad responded with a hearty chuckle and a slap to his arm.

“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, I was just suggesting. Take him out for dinner or something, show him around town.”

Before Thor could manage to completely flounder again, he was nearly tackled into the nuts and bolts. “ _Thor!_ ”

Grinning as he recognized the voice and flash of long, dark hair hidden beneath a red knit hat, he wrapped his arms around narrow shoulders and squeezed until he heard a faint wheeze. “Sif!”

“It’s been so long,” she said as Thor released her, hands still gripping her shoulders, her grin matching Thor’s.

“ _Way_ too long.”

“He’s a workaholic,” Odin interjected, smiling warmly as Sif spun around and greeted him slightly less physically. “Frigga had pull out all her best tricks to get him and his boyfriend to come here.”

Sif turned back to Thor, eyebrows raised. “Boyfriend?”

Thor just smiled and shrugged. “Yeah.”

Sif turned back to Odin as he began to speak again. “He’s been hiding him. I was just telling Thor that he needs to take him out.”

Sif gasped, poking Thor on the chest, hard. “You should bring him to the bar! Volstagg runs the place now and me and the guys work there so it’ll be like a reunion!”

She was nearly bouncing, looking expectantly at Thor.

It had been so long since he’d seen his friends. And it might be nice to be out and about for a night.

“That sounds great!”

“So we’ll see you tonight?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait,” Thor said, swallowing Sif up in to another hug. She said her goodbyes after he let go, disappearing down another aisle, leaving him alone with his father again. Who smiling at him in a peculiar way.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Loki walked into the kitchen, finding Frigga rolling out dough on the counter. “Where’d Thor go?”

“I think Odin made him go to the hardware store with him. Did you need him for something?”

“No,” Loki answered quickly, “just curious.”

“Ah,” she said softly. She looked over at him, smirking slightly. “It’s good that you’re down here, actually, I could use your help with these cookies.”

“I don’t really-”

She was already holding a spoon out to him with a flour-covered hand. “You can start stirring the ingredients for the next batch.”

That’s where Thor eventually found him, in the kitchen piping icing onto cookies alongside Frigga, his black clothes covered in a light dusting of flour and sugar.

“You’ve really got a knack for decorating cookies, you know,” Frigga said as Loki iced a perfect string of white loops onto a tree, smiling and blushing a little at the praise.

Thor raised an eyebrow at them in surprise. “Hi?”

Frigga smiled up at Thor, while Loki looked at him sort of wide-eyed. “Oh, hello there darling. You and your father find everything you need?”

“Yep. We even saw Sif… I said we’d go over to Volstagg’s bar tonight,” he said, eyes darting towards Loki.

“Oh that’s wonderful! I was wondering when you’d go show Loki off.” Frigga nudged Loki’s side gently as she said that, making his face heat even more.

He quickly picked up another cookie, icing more loops on to it.

“ _I love your mother,_ ” Loki said as soon as they made their way back up to the guest room and Thor had closed the door. “I love her. How did _you_ become so annoying?”

Thor rolled his eyes and sighed, flopping on to the bed face first.

Loki tried to brush the flour from his clothes, but quickly found it to be a useless endeavor and decided to change instead. Thor pushed his head up just as Loki pulled his shirt off, his usually neatly combed back hair fluffed up from pulling it over his head. His eyes slid down Loki’s torso, taking everything in all at once. He didn’t realize that he’d been staring until Loki stilled, looking over at him sideways. He pressed his face into the bedding.

“What kind of bar is this anyways?”

“Casual,” Thor mumbled with a shrug. He didn’t see why it mattered too much, Loki always wore black anyways. The sound of Loki’s pants unzipping seemed way too loud to Thor’s ears, and he pressed his face in to the bed a little harder.

“Well, I’m ready when you are.”

Thor finally looked back up and was surprised to see… green. Loki was wearing a green sweater. He was even more surprised at how much he liked it.

Loki cocked a brow at him, hands on his narrow hips. “What? Do I still have flour on me?” He looked down at himself.

Thor shook himself and pushed himself off the bed. “Nothing.”

Loki made a face as they pulled into the bar’s parking lot. “ _Get Hammered?_ Really?”

Thor laughed softly as he pulled into a space and parked the car. “Oh man, have I missed this place.”

It was loud inside, smelled of fried food and alcohol, with garlands hanging from the exposed wood beams on the ceiling. Thor dragged Loki to the bar, who watched as Thor leaned over it to jab at a large, red-headed man’s back. He grinned when he set his eyes on Thor, quickly making his way around the bar to swallow Thor up in a hug.

When he finally let go of Thor, he turned towards the back of the place and shouted, “Fandral! Hogun! Sif! Thor’s here!”

The other three came bounding out seconds later, swallowing Thor in a pile of bodies, their excited chatter bringing the attention of the other patrons to them. Loki stood back and just watched, arms crossed.

Thor seemed to finally remember that Loki was there when his friend Sif, he presumed, nudged him and jerked his head towards Loki.

“Oh, yeah,” Thor said, moving back over to Loki and draping his arm over Loki’s shoulders. “This is, uh, my boyfriend. Loki. My boyfriend.”

There was a beat of silence as Thor’s friends stared at them. Then, suddenly, Loki too was swallowed up by them. He stammered as they jostled him around, asking them both a million questions at once.

“Guys, guys! A little breathing room please?”

They backed off, letting Loki and Thor settle into an empty booth. Though Thor’s friends did hang around a bit, each of them asking about how they met. Loki answered those, given that Thor still had trouble not stumbling over the words. Thor ordered them both burgers and fries before Loki could get a word in, and they were brought out by Fandral, who was probably more interested in getting to know Loki than was likely necessary.

Volstagg came to shoo him away a minute later, twos mugs of beer in hand. “You do have other costumers, you know.” He set down the mugs when Fandral had gone off. “These are on the house, of course.”

“What about the refills?” Thor asked, already slurping nosily on his beer.

“Double price,” Volstagg replied with a chuckle.

“You sure do know how to wine and dine, don’t you,” Loki said when it seemed like they’d finally be left alone for a minute, gesturing to their massive burgers and mountains of fries, the paper that lined the baskets nearly clear from grease.

“Hey,” Thor said, jabbing a fry at Loki, “ _this_ has wooed many dates.”

Loki scoffed, tentatively biting into one of his own fries. “I didn’t know grease had become an aphrodisiac.”

“Then what do _you_ do for a date? Since you’re apparently an expert.”

“Well, I’m not usually the one who has to do the work-”

“How am I not surprised.”

Loki ignored him. “ _But_ , I like to eat in. Sort of. I don’t really cook, so I usually order something and just make it look like I cooked it.”

Thor let out a bark of laughter. “And you you think it’s ridiculous people date _me?_ ”

“Well, not it’s not _totally_ ridiculous that people date you,” Loki said, taking a sip of his beer.

“Hm?”

Loki glanced down at Thor’s bulky shoulders, taking another sip before setting his beer down again. “It probably helps that you look like you spend most of your free time in a gym.”

Thor’s eyes narrowed, the smile on his face growing broader. “Did you just imply that you think I’m hot?”

Loki looked him squarely in the eye and said, “ _no_ , I implied that I could see how _other_ people could find you hot.”

Thor laughed again, loudly, and rested his chin in his hand. “You think I’m hot.”

Loki sighed, looking away and shoving a few fries in to his mouth.

They were both smiling as they made their way back to Odin and Frigga’s house, creeping quietly up the stairs and into the guest room.

“You look nice in green,” Thor said as Loki pulled his pajamas from the dresser, making him pause and look back at Thor.

“I didn’t know you wore any color besides black.”

Loki made a face. “I wear other colors.”

Thor just made a noise and moved to stand beside him, getting out his own pajamas.

Loki smirked. “So, you like how I look in green?”

“I admit it. I like how you look in something.” Thor smirked back at him as he walked around Loki, heading for the bathroom. “And _you_ think I’m hot.”

“We’ve basically agreed to the fact that neither of us are blind.”

Thor stood in the doorway of the bathroom, leaning on to the door. “I think that’s the first time we’ve agreed on something.”

“ _Amazing_ progress.”

“I told you, the burgers _work_.”

Loki laughed as Thor shut the door.


	5. Mostly Harmless

Thor stopped as soon as he stepped into the living room, tilting his head at the young woman sitting on the couch, flipping through a textbook in her lap and grabbing a cookie from the plate on the coffee table. Her hand stilled as she realized he was there, cookie halfway to her lips, and turned her head, eyebrows raising high above the frames of her glasses while her eyes raked over him. “ _Whoa_. The baby pictures _do not_ do you justice.”

Thor crossed his arms over his chest as her gaze continued to roam over him, the change in his position only bringing her focus to his arms. “And you might be?”

She tossed the cookie back to the plate and the the book on to the couch beside her, standing up fast and raking her fingers through her long brown hair, eyes still hopping back and forth from Thor’s body and face as she sauntered up to him somewhat clumsily. “Hi, I’m Darcy.”

Thor watched in confusion as she moved in even closer, her head not quite reaching his shoulders.

His mother’s voice came suddenly from another room. “Darcy?”

“Yup,” she responded loudly, not even glancing away from Thor.

“Oh,” his mother laughed as she walked into the room, “I see you two have met.”

Thor looked to her for an explanation. He didn’t get any. His mother came up to the girl, turning her away from Thor and asking her, “have you started your reading?”

“Yep. I’m like, halfway through it already.”

“Very good, then you should finish it up so we can get to work on the questions,” Frigga said, giving Darcy a pointed look.

Darcy whined quietly, throwing Thor one more longing look before dragging herself back to the couch, flopping down on to it and dragging her book back on to her lap.

Thor looked back at his mother, silently pleading for an explanation. She smiled, jerking her head towards the kitchen before turning and walking out of the room. Thor followed close behind.

“Who is _that?_ ”

“Her grandmother is in my book club and Darcy started driving her to the meetings when her license got revoked. She comes over sometimes and I help her with her English homework.”

“Is she always _so_ -” Thor trailed off with a gesture of his hands.

“She’s a bit shameless, yes,” Frigga said, opening the fridge and pulling out carrots and celery, and added, “But it’s nice having a kid around the house again. It keeps me young.”

Thor laughed softly, leaning his hip against the counter. “Dad needs to get you a puppy.”

Frigga rolled her eyes, walking to the sink and setting the vegetables down beside it, her back to Thor. “Aren’t you going to ask me something?”

Thor’s brows furrowed. “I don’t think so?”

Frigga looked at him over her shoulder. “I spent three hours alone with your boyfriend yesterday and you’re not going to ask me _anything_ about it?”

“Aah,” Thor stood, stammering as he searched for the right response. “W-what did you guys talk about?” He finally asked, somewhat nervously.

“All sorts of things. _You_ , mostly.” She smirked.

“Oh,” Thor said, relaxing slightly.

“Well?” She asked after a moment of silence.

Thor stayed quiet, watching his mother’s back as he tried to figure out what else she wanted him to say.

She looked over her shoulder again, lips still curved into a smirk. “ _Aren’t_ you curious about what I think of him?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

She laughed and shook her head, looking back down at the sink and rinsing off a few carrots. “I like him a lot. I don’t understand why you hid him for so long.”

Thor’s mouth hung open, completely unable to form a response to that.

Luckily, Loki came in at just that moment, looking slightly alarmed. “There is a _very_ strange and handsy child in the living room,” he said, looking back and forth between him and Frigga.

Frigga sighed, dropping the carrots in the sink and drying her hands. “that’s just Darcy. I’ll go try and reign her in.”

Darcy suddenly popped up between Thor and Loki. “Reign who in?”

Frigga cocked a brow at her, hands going to her hips. “ _You_.”

Darcy put on an entirely false innocent look. “Huh?”

Frigga huffed softly and walked between Thor and Loki, taking Darcy by the shoulders and directing her back to the living room. “Can you two start getting dinner ready while I help Darcy with her homework and explain a few things to her?”

Thor nodded, moving the sink to pick up where his mother left off, while Loki hopped on to the counter, resting against a cabinet and watching Thor do the work.

“She actually touched you?” Thor asked after a moment or two of silence.

“She pinched my ass! She reached around me and _pinched,_ ” Loki said indignantly, pinching the open air for emphasis. Loki sighed, arms crossing tight over his chest. “Who _is_ she?”

“My mother said she drives her grandma to her book club meetings and I guess she missed having a teenager around,” Thor answered with a shrug. He turned the water off and grabbed one of the freshly rinsed carrots, turning around and leaning against the edge of the sink before biting into it with a loud crunch. Loki’s hand darted out, and he handed the carrot to him, watching Loki take a bite out of it before he handed it back.

Frigga appeared in the hallway, making a distressed noise at the sight of them. “I leave you alone for two seconds and you’re already eating dinner before it’s even _made_.”

Thor smiled innocently. “But I felt weak.”

She scoffed, waving them both away. “Get out of here, the both of you. Go and neck or whatever you young people do these days.”

Thor and Loki both let out forced laughs, quickly walking out of the kitchen.

Frigga sighed heavily, opening her eyes to stare at the ceiling of her bedroom. “You’re right. There’s something strange going on with those two.”

“ _See?_ I told you I could be right sometimes.” She could hear the damn smirk in his voice, too.

“I just don’t get it, though,” she said, rolling up on to her side to look down at her husband in the dark. “Why would Thor lie to us?”

Odin grunted as he sat up, twisting to turn on the lamp on the nightstand before looking down at Frigga, still smirking. “Maybe it’s because you’ve been-”

Frigga jabbed a finger at him. “Don’t you _dare_ say it.”

“- _gently prodding_ him just a bit too much.”

“So you’re saying it’s _my_ fault he’s lying to us.”

Odin sighed, reaching down and gently cupping her cheek in one of his hands. “Of course not, my love.”

Frigga sighed and laid back down, Odin shutting the lamp off before following suit.

“I really do I like Loki, though. I’m a little disappointed they’re not really together.”

Odin hummed in agreement. Adding a moment later, “you know what might be fun?”

“What, darling?”

“A little, relatively harmless, revenge.”


	6. Two Grumpy Gooses

Frigga spotted the portrait studio from across the store and grabbed Odin’s arm. “You know what would be a wonderful idea? _A family portrait_ ,” She said loud enough so that Thor and Loki could hear, the both of them freezing in place a few feet behind them. “We haven’t had one done since Thor was a kid and, well, I think this is a _very_ special Christmas,” she added with a conspicuous wink towards Loki.

Odin smiled softly, patting Frigga’s hand on his arm. “That _does_ sound like a wonderful idea,” he said, the both of them looking back at Thor and Loki expectantly.

“Uh, yeah. Great idea,” Thor answered quickly.

“Okay, you are _so_ paying for this,” Loki hissed as he and Thor dug through the box of cartoon-ish accessories and props. “ _Big_ fucking time.”

“I can’t help that she wanted us to _dress up_ ,” Thor hissed back, pulling out a overly long red and white striped scarf. He tossed it aside, finding a green stocking cap with reindeer knitted on it, the white yarn puffball at the end of it dingy and frayed.

Loki grumbled as continued to dig through the box, “if I get lice from this I swear to god-”

“Find anything yet?” Frigga asked as she walked between them, the gaudy vest she wore over her sweater jingling softly. “Ooh!” She exclaimed as she spotted the hat in Thor’s hand. “Hang on to the that.” She dashed back to the other end of the room, coming with another hat that matched Thor’s, only in red.

Standing on her toes, she yanked the hat on to Loki’s head, the ends of his hair flipping out under the knit. “Oh, aren’t you _precious_ ,” she said sweetly, cupping Loki’s face in her hands as he made only a vague attempt at not glaring. Patting his cheeks just a little too hard, she turned to Thor and yanked his hat on.

The looks on their faces were decidedly _un-festive_ , but Frigga didn’t seem to notice, or care, clapping her hands together she declared them, “perfect!”

Odin was already sitting in his place in front of the screen, wearing his own overdecorated vest and a santa hat. Frigga sat down beside him, snuggling close. Thor and Loki shot another look at one another before taking the spots in front of them, keeping a safe distance between them.

“Oh come on darlings, don’t be shy now,” Frigga chided, tugging on their shirts to get them closer. They moved begrudgingly, until their sides were pressed together.

“Okay. Three, two, one, _smile_ ,” the photographer said from behind his camera, the boredom in his voice palatable.

There was a click and then the photographer cleared his throat. “Smile like you mean it, guys.”

“ _Aw_ , do we have a couple of grumpy-gooses!” Came a familiar voice from somewhere behind them.

Darcy suddenly popped up beside them. Dressed like an elf complete with striped stockings and bell-tipped shoes.

Odin laughed and Frigga nearly cooed, “aw, Darcy don’t you look lovely.”

“Gotta love seasonal work,” she said perkily. Standing beside the photographer she bent forward, looking back and forth between Thor and Loki. “Now, what’s it gonna take to get a smile out of you two?” They both scowled at her.

“ _Yeesh_ ,” Darcy said as she stood and backed away. “I’m used to cheering up toddlers, okay?”

Thor and Loki yelped as Frigga pinched the backs of their arms. “Enough of that now, boys,” she said sternly. Loki raised an eyebrow as he looked sideways at Thor, who seemed to be cowering just a little.

“Ready?” The photographer asked, adjusting his camera as Darcy stood beside him, the bell on her shoe chiming as she tapped her foot.

“Yes,” Frigga answered, sitting up straighter.

“Alright. Three, two, one… _smile_.”

“I think I have lice now,” Loki said for the fortieth time in as many minutes, scrubbing a hand through his hair, which had become hopelessly ruffled.

“You’re just paranoid.” Thor ran hand through his own hair, resisting the urge to scratch at his own phantom itches, which were definitely all Loki’s fault. They had managed to escape his parents after getting the picture taken, neither of them ever wanting to see the evidence their indignity, and walked deeper into the huge store. They had been tracked down, eventually. His parents had found them amongst the aisles of car parts, glowing smiles on their faces as Frigga held a _stack_ of photos in her hands.

Thor was holding some of that stack now as he sat on the edge of the guest bed, Loki itching and twitching beside him.

“We’re burning those when we go back home.”

Thor made a sound in agreement, pulling the nightstand’s drawer open and shoving the photos inside. He flopped back with a heavy sigh and Loki followed more slowly, lock of hair wrapped around a couple of his fingers. They laid there for a few minutes, until Thor couldn’t take the sound of Loki scratching his head anymore, and caught his wrist, forcing it away down by their sides.

“You don’t have lice,” Thor grit out.

Loki wriggled his hand in attempt to free it. “Let go of me, brute.”

Thor clenched his teeth, his grasp tightening slightly as Loki tried to pry off his fingers with his unrestrained hand. With his lips set in a tight line and his hair hanging and curling around his face, Loki pushed himself up and whacked Thor on the chest with a soft, hollow sounding _thump_. Thor released his hand and Loki laid back down, cradling his wrist to his chest protectively.

“ _Asshole_.”

Thor grinned. “I bet you’re not itchy anymore, though.”

Loki’s head turned, glaring daggers at Thor. He scoffed, sitting up and standing in one fluid motion before stomping into the bathroom.


	7. Two Skating DumDums

“This is going to be so much fun!”

Loki eyed the outdoor skating rink warily before forcing on a smile and looking to Frigga. “Uh, I hate to be a downer, but I don’t know how to ice skate.”

“And we don’t have skates,” Thor added quickly.

“We rented some!” Odin said boastfully, hoisting a duffel bag from the trunk of the car.

Frigga leaned in and winked, speaking in a hushed tone. “I snuck a look at your shoes to get the sizes right… And I’m sure Thor will be happy to teach you.”

“Of course,” Thor replied tightly, draping an arm over Loki’s shoulders.

“This is actually where I proposed to Frigga,” Odin said, beaming proudly as he hugged an arm around Frigga’s waist while they walked to rink.

“The _first_ time,” Frigga added with a soft laugh, patting Odin’s chest. She looked over to Thor and Loki and explained, “we’d only been dating for _three months_ at that point and he didn’t even have a ring, but he got down on his knee right in the middle of this ice skating rink and asked me. It was very romantic, even if I did say no.”

Odin made an indignant noise.

“Well, I _did_ say yes eventually.”

“Lucky for you that I’m persistent.”

“’Stubborn as a mule” is what I prefer to call it.”

Odin chuckled and Thor and Loki looked away as they continued to flirt with each other, letting the two of them get ahead.

“You really don’t know how to skate?”

Loki shoved his hands into his pockets, already regretting not wearing gloves. “Nope.”

“It’s easy enough, you’ll get the hang of it fast.”

Loki squawked as he lurched forward, clinging tightly to Thor’s arm. “I’m not getting the hang of it, Thor!”

Thor was failing to stifle his laughter, and Loki could feel his heart beat rising equally in rage and panic, his face hot with embarrassment. “Just- just _calm down._ ”

“I’m going to shove these ice skates _up your ass_ when this is over.”

Thor cackled at that. He was still unable to force the amused grin away a couple minutes later, gliding in front of Loki and prying his hands off his arm and taking them in both his own. “Come on, you can do this.”

Loki looked up and glared daggers at Thor. He could feel the eyes of the other skaters on him, the feeling making the skin on the back of his neck prickle unpleasantly.

They came to a stop close to the middle of the rink, out of the way of the people going around in laps. “Okay, you’ve got to stand up first.”

“ _I can’t._ ”

Thor scoffed. “Yes you can.” He suddenly grabbed Loki by the waist, pulling him closer, forcing him to stand up. “There we go.”

Loki quickly grabbed on to Thor, feeling like his feet might slip out from under him any second.

“Now, try to glide one foot forward.”

Loki just continued to glare at him.

“Come _on_.”

Loki sighed, moving one foot forward, then the other, sniping at Thor’s every command, but doing it anyways. Frigga and Odin passed them a few times, smiling at each other in a slightly conspiratorial way.

Thor grinned at him. “I think you’ve got it. Wanna try it on your own now?”

“ _No._ ”

“Okay, I’m letting go.”

“ _Thor!_ ”

Time seemed to slow as Thor let go if him and pried Loki’s fingers from his coat, skating a few feet back, grin still plastered on his face. Loki held his breath as he stood still, arms held out wide for balance but still feeling wobbly on the skates.

Thor beckoned him forward. “ _Move_.”

Loki swallowed hard, carefully moving one foot, then the other. He was moving at a snail’s pace, but he was still _moving_. Then, suddenly, one foot slid too far forward, the other following it, the whole thing happening in a blur that ended with an unnervingly loud _thunk_ and him on his back.

Loki flinched at the sound of ice scraping close to him, Thor’s face hovering over his as he knelt beside him. “ _Shit_. Loki, are you alright?”

Loki answered with a pained groan, his hands going to his throbbing head.

“We need to get him to the hospital,” came Frigga’s voice from somewhere above.

Loki groaned as he sat on the bed, legs hanging limp from the edge and hunched over, using his fingertips to keep the icepack on his head balanced on top of it. Thor sat in a chair nestled in the corner of the curtained off area that made up the room, his leg jiggling to blow off nervous energy. It felt like they’d been waiting for _hours_ to be seen by a doctor, although, according to his phone, it’d only been a half hour.

The front curtain opened with a swoosh, a small, brown-haired woman that Thor recognized instantly walking in. “Mr. Laufeyson?”

Thor shot out of his chair, smiling. “Jane!?”

She looked up at him her smile just as broad as his. “Thor?”

He swooped in and wrapped her up in a hug, lifting her off the ground, just like he had back in high school. She laughed loudly in his ear, hugging him back, her clipboard hindering her only a little.

“Holy crap, how long have you been in town?” She asked when Thor finally set her back down.

“A little less than a week.”

Jane laughed, smacking him with the clipboard. Her gaze raked over him, and she let out an appreciative whistle. “Time has been _good_ to you.”

Thor scoffed, shrugging his shoulders as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m sure it’s just the lighting in here. You’re looking wonderful, though.”

“Oh shut up,” she said, rolling her eyes, “I’ve barely slept for two days and I’m avoiding anything with a reflective surface at this point.”

“That’s _ridiculous_.”

Loki cleared his throat loudly, scowling at Thor and Jane.

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” Jane said, flustered, turning her attention to him. “Okay, so everything looks alright, you’ll just need to rest and take it easy for a while. But if the headache doesn’t go away or you start vomiting, come here _immediately_ …”

Loki sighed, nodding along with her instructions, his eyes narrowed at her. “So, can I go now?” He asked after she’d gone through everything.

“Yep. You might have to go to the front desk and sign a few more papers first.”

“ _Fantastic_ ,” Loki sighed, tossing the ice pack aside and sliding from the bed, leaving with out another word.

After talking to Jane for another minute or so, promising to have lunch with her sometime to catch up and quickly saying goodbye, he found Loki waiting at the exit. He watched the snow falling outside with an exceedingly grim look, arms crossed tightly.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Loki stepped out wordlessly, walking ahead of him, his breath leaving him in big puffs of steam. Thor caught up to him easily, his hand coming up to rest in the middle of Loki’s back, gently guiding him in the direction of his parent’s car, since they had found a ride home from one of their friends. Loki visibly bristled at the touch, even shooting him a sideways look, but he just felt the need to do it to feel slightly less useless. Inside the car was as just as cold as it was outside, and Thor couldn’t get it started soon enough, the silence between them breaking with the radio turning on.

Thor cleared his throat and shifted in his seat after they’d pulled out of the hospital’s parking lot and were on their way back to his parent’s. “How’s you’re head feeling?”

“It feels fucking amazing,” Loki snapped, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m sorry about letting go of you.”

“Please, _shut up_.”

“How’s your head?” Thor asked as he looked at the back of it while they laid in bed. Loki was on his side, his back turned to Thor, his inky hair still wet from the shower he’d taken before laying down.

“It’s fine when you’re _quiet_.”

Thor hesitantly reached out and lightly touched the back of his head, the both of them hissing as he touched the tender lump that had formed on his head. Loki waved his arm behind him frantically. “For fuck’s sake don’t _touch_ it!”

“Sorry,” Thor said softly, quickly pulling his hand back. “It feels painful. Do you need anything?”

“I need you to _shut the hell up_.”

Thor sighed. He laid there watching Loki’s chest rise and fall for a while, feeling far too nervous to sleep. Loki didn’t appear to be able to sleep, either.

“How did you know the doctor?”

Thor pushed himself up on to his elbow, looking down at Loki in bewilderment at the question. “We dated in high school.”

Loki hummed thoughtfully. “You two seem really chummy _,_ ” he said flatly.

Thor tilted his head. Then, he smirked. “Are you jealous?”

Loki let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, _right_. Like I’d have _any_ reason to be jealous of a pocket-sized doctor with frizzy hair.”

Thor fell back on to the bed from laughing so hard.

“ _I’m not jealous!_ ”

“God, I just thought you were being such a jerk because of your head, I didn’t think it was because of _that._ ”

“Well, you didn’t need to practically hump her with your eyes. I thought we were supposed to at least _pretend_ to be a couple.”

Thor scooted closer, wrapping an arm around Loki’s waist. “ _Aw baby_ , you know you’re the only one for me.”

Loki elbowed him hard, knocking him on to his back. “You’re making my head throb.”

Thor forced himself to be quiet, though a few snickers still managed to sneak out of him.

Loki huffed, scooting closer to the edge of the bed, kicking his legs violently so the blankets were pulled off Thor. “ _Shut up._ ”


	8. What a Merry Mess

Thor stared down at his sandwich, feeling strangely guilty for going to lunch with Jane and not telling Loki. Why should he feel guilty though? He had no reason to. He was just having lunch with an old friend.

Jane cleared her throat, pulling Thor from his thoughts. “Sorry,” he said a bit bashfully.

“So,” she started, picking out a piece of lettuce from her salad and dipping it into the small cup of dressing beside her plate, “how’s the head injury?”

Thor chuckled. “Loki’s feeling better, I think. Just really crabby, which is his usual disposition anyways.”

“Good,” she said with a nod of her head, then repeating Loki’s name to commit it to memory. “What’s the story with you two, then?” She asked a minute or so later.

Thor laughed again, sounding a bit breathless. “It’s a _really_ long story.”

Jane shrugged and said, “I got a couple of hours.”

Loki rolled the now melted ice pack in his hands as he made his way down stairs, the swollen lump on the back of his head still throbbing, although, thankfully, not enough to be unbearable. It was blissfully quiet in the house, so much that he almost felt like he was an intruder, every noise amplified.

“Hello, darling,” Frigga called from the couch, startling Loki a little. She beckoned him into the living room, patting the space beside her on the couch. In her lap she had a photo album, along with a few more stacked on the coffee table. Loki sat down beside her as instructed, setting the icepack on the table.

“How’s your head,” she asked gently, tucking Loki’s hair behind his ear. He leaned into the touch just a little.

“Better,” he answered plainly. Frigga nodded.

He was only vaguely wondering about Thor’s whereabouts at the moment, but he thought he should ask anyways. “Do you know where Thor is?”

“He said he was going out with a friend for lunch,” she answered, a smirk gracing her lips. “Which gives me the perfect opportunity to show you _embarrassing_ _baby pictures_.”

Loki couldn’t stop himself from smirking back at her. “You’re a woman after my own heart, Frigga.”

Thor sighed in… not exactly in relief, but it felt nice to tell someone what was really going on.

Jane was laughing, hard, wiping the tears from her eyes. “ _That_ is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Don’t rub it in.”

Jane laughed for a while longer, finally winding down with a sigh, dabbing away a few more tears with her sleeve. “Well, as far as hired boyfriends go, you picked a _real_ nice looking one.”

Thor rolled his eyes and let out a scoff of laughter. Jane continued to watch him, a small, amused looking smile still curling her lips.

Thor sighed, resting his chin in his hand. “What is it?”

“You kept listing off all these really annoying things about Loki… It just seemed a little… _the lady doth protest too much_.”

“This lady doth protest a _fine_ amount,” Thor said a bit more defensively than he intended.

“Maybe you like him a little more than you think you do, that’s all I’m saying.”

Thor groaned, “ _Jane._..”

Loki was feeling stifled, hot and overstuffed from dinner, along with something else that was hard to decipher. He whispered to Frigga that he was going out for a walk as he passed her in the living room, and she smiled up at him from her seat softly, telling him to be careful.

He’d barely made it past the house next door before he heard the door open and shut, then the scuff of shoes on wet pavement coming up on him. Thor caught up to him quickly, falling into step with Loki easily.

Loki decided to ignore him, focusing his attention on the houses they passed, each one perfectly lit with Christmas lights and sprinkled with snow-covered decorations.

“What would you be doing right now if you hadn’t come here with me?”

“I’d be on a beach.”

He could see Thor looking at him quizzically.

“Well, in a hotel that looked over a beach, if you want to get _technical_.”

They passed a few more houses in silence, a pack of small, yappy dogs barking at them from behind a window.

“This place looks like it should be on a postcard,” he mumbled, the vague feeling of annoyance that he’d been feeling for the past few hours starting to become more sharp.

Thor laughed quietly beside him. “I guess it does.”

“Is it always like _this?_ ”

“Well, yeah,” Thor answered. “What’s Christmas like for you, usually?”

Loki shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t really celebrate it.”

Thor frowned a little. “Really? Why?”

“ _Because I don’t_ ,” Loki hissed, already getting tired of this turn of conversation. “I’m not talking about this with you.”

Loki kept catching Thor throwing him curious looks out of the corner of his eye. “ _Stop_.”

“Sorry.”

“…How’s your head feeling?”

Loki huffed in annoyance, stopping and turning on a heel to face Thor, his hands turning to claws aimed at Thor. “ _What are you doing?_ ”

“Checking to see if you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Loki snapped, forcing his hands down to his sides. “And I wouldn’t need you constantly checking on me even if I _wasn’t_.”

“I’m just trying to be _nice_ ,” Thor rumbled back, eyebrows lowering into a scowl, his lips forming a tight line.

“If you want to be _nice_ to me, then leave me the fuck alone!” Loki turned, stomping down the sodden sidewalk, only to have Thor beside him a couple minutes later.

“What are you doing,” Loki growled.

“Being an asshole, since that seems to be the only thing I can do, according to you.”

“ _Oh my god,_ ” Loki said, stopping again, pinching the bride of his nose as his head began to throb.

Jane was _wrong_ , Thor thought, he hated Loki just as much as he thought he did.

“Ah, _Jane_ , so that’s who you were off with earlier?”

He thought that out loud, apparently. “Yes. Jealous?”

Loki rolled his eyes and snarled, “I’m not jealous!”

They both turned to the road as his parents’ car pulled up beside them, Odin rolling down the window and giving them both a stern look. “The neighbors are starting to call about you two.”

They slunk in to the backseat, turning away from each other as much as they could for the short, tense drive.

Loki shot out the car as soon as they parked, slamming the door closed and stomping into the house. Thor was ready to follow, ready to continue their fight inside, before his father’s hand stopped him.

“Leave him alone for a minute.” Odin said, moving to the car again, opening the driver’s side door. “Come on, lets go for drive.”

Odin looked over at him as soon as they turned off their street, sighing at the sight of Thor sulking, folded up into the seat as much as he could manage.

“What happened?”

“Loki’s a jackass,” Thor mumbled.

“As your father, I know very well that it’s likely that you were also a jackass.”

“ _Thanks_ dad.”

Loki ignored the soft knock on the door, staying still as Frigga came inside and walked around the bed, setting down a pair of glasses on the nightstand. She held out the bottle of wine to him. “Can you open this?”

Loki sat up slowly, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed and taking the bottle from Frigga. The cork came out with a pop, and Frigga took the bottle back, filling them each a glass.

“I find this very helpful when Odin is bugging me,” Frigga said with a wink.

Loki raised an eyebrow at that and turned his attention to his glass, swirling the wine in it before taking a sip, which turned into a guzzle that left his glass nearly empty when he finally swallowed.

“Oh, this is going to be fun,” Frigga said with an amused grin, laughing softly as she refilled his glass.

Thor and Odin tilted their heads down at Frigga as she laid on the couch, humming a strange tune with her eyes closed, an empty wine glass hanging from her hand.

“Mother?”

Frigga opened her eyes and smiled. “Hello darlings!”

“Are you drunk?”

Frigga made a face and waved her free hand at Thor as she sat up. “No, _no_ , I’m jus a little _tisspsy_.” She set the glass down carefully on the coffee table, smoothing her hands down the front of her robe and sitting up straight and attempting to look regal. “That Loki of yours can really drink, you know. He nearly drank a whole bottle _by himself!_ ”

“ _Oh no._ ”

Odin sighed. “You go check on Loki, I’ll take your mother to bed.”

Thor nodded, clapping his father on the shoulder before heading for the stairs.

“ _You are looking quite handsome tonight,_ ” he heard his mother say cheerily, giggling softly.

Odin chuckled, the amusement obvious in his voice. “ _Good lord woman, you really are shitfaced_.”

Loki was sitting next to the bed when Thor came in, hugging a pillow to his chest with his watery-eyed stare focused on the little Christmas tree on the dresser. Thor sank to the floor beside him, hugging his arms around his knees and staying quiet.

“We never had one of those,” Loki said suddenly, words surprisingly clear, but his voice still a bit rough.

“What?”

“A tree,” Loki answered meekly, pressing his mouth into the pillow. He gave a wet little sniff and Thor watched as his eyes welled up with tears. He clamped them shut, burying his whole face in the pillow. Thor cautiously reached out and placed a hand between Loki’s shoulders, rubbing up and down slowly as he began to shake a little. He looked to the door when he heard his mother giggle, his father’s voice soft and deep as he tried to guide her up the stairs, the occasional thump as she stumbled. When he looked back Loki was peeking over the pillow at the door, red rimming his eyes, making the green irises stand out.

“I like your mom,” Loki said quietly.

“I know.”

“Mine left us when I was kid. I don’t even remember what she looks like.”

Thor’s eyes went wide, his shock at the confession leaving him a bit dumbfounded. “…Sorry.”

Loki’s face screwed up, a sob hiccuping in his throat. He folded forward, pressing his face into the pillow again and he began to cry. Thor slid his hand up farther, wrapping around the back of Loki’s neck and squeezing it gently.

Loki suddenly sat up, knocking Thor’s hand away, and clumsily throwing the pillow at the dresser. “It’s not _fair!_ You got nice parents and friends and everyone at work _likes_ you and…” He trailed off with a loud sniffle, his shoulders slumping. “It’s not fair,” he finished weakly, chin quivering.

Thor stood picking the pillow up and tossing it back on to the bed before offering his hands to Loki to help him up. Loki looked at his hands then his face, thinking for a moment before gabbing them, letting Thor drag him up and guide him on to the bed. He turned off the lights and laid down on the other side, keeping a little space between them. Loki curled up on his side, facing Thor, his gaze distant as he looked around the room.

“You really never had a Christmas tree?”

Loki’s eyes snapped back to him, sniffling as he shook his head. “Not that I can remember.”

Loki took a deep, shaky breath. “My dad was an asshole. He was always obsessed with work and didn’t have any friends-” Loki stopped abruptly, his eyes going wide. “ _Oh god_ I turned into him.” He rolled on to his back and covered his face with his hands as a new bout of sobbing began.

Thor sat up, mouth hanging open as he tried to think of something. “Hey, come on, I’m sure that’s not true.”

“You _suck_ at lying,” Loki snapped back raggedly. He turned on to his other side, folding his long legs up.

Thor moved closer, his hand going to Loki’s waist, gently pulling him on to his back. “Come on, Loki.”

Loki turned over again, shivering as Thor pulled him in to a hug.

“I’m terrible,” Loki whimpered, pinching the fabric of Thor’s shirt between his fingers. “No wonder no one likes me.”

“You’re not _terrible_ ,” Thor said, petting Loki’s head carefully, “and my mom likes you. Probably more than _me_.”

Loki let out a a little laugh that trailed off quickly. His eyebrows furrowed. “You smell nice.”

Thor smiled. “Thanks.”

Loki scooted closer, pressing his face into Thor’s chest and inhaling, his eyes slowly closing.

“Loki?”

Loki didn’t stir, his only reply a soft snort that meant he’d fallen asleep.

Thor sighed, “goodnight, Loki.”


	9. Holidate??

Loki was staring at a forkful of pancakes, his eyes kind of glazed over as a drip of syrup threatened to fall. His mother was leaning heavily on to her hand, using it to shield the light from her eyes, her hair tangled and a bit stringy, something of a frown curving her mouth. His father was doing his best to try to hide his amusement at the sight. Thor pulled the pan from the stove, scooping one more pancake on to his own plate, then the last on Loki’s, before dropping it in to the sink, with a clatter that made Loki and Frigga flinch, and sitting down. Loki’s wide-eyed gaze kept flickering over to him. He looked sort of jumpy and terrified.

“How are the pancakes?” Thor asked casually as he cut into his own stack with a fork.

“Good,” Loki mumbled, shoving another mouthful in as he quickly looked away.

His mother just let out a small, halfhearted groan. His father snickered into a spoonful of oatmeal.

Loki avoided him most of the day, which wasn’t really surprising and Thor decided to just let it be, at least until his hangover was gone.

They all went out for dinner that night. His mother was back to her usual, pleasant self and while the ride was quiet, it was comfortable, even with Loki still looking somewhat distraught.

Thor should not have been surprised when about ten minutes after being seated, both his parents had to leave the table for mysterious reasons.

“I don’t think they’re coming back.”

Loki laughed, softly, and shook his head a little. “I think you’re right.”

Thor jerked his head towards the bread basket. “More bread for us, then.”

Loki laughed again, taking one of the warm rolls and pinching off pieces as he watched the street through the window their table was next to. He sighed heavily, shifting in his seat. “What, uh, what exactly happened last night?”

“Well,” Thor started slowly, “you told me your mom left you as a kid, you never had a Christmas tree, that your dad is an asshole, among a few other things. There was a _lot_ of crying involved.”

Loki groaned, hunching over and burying his face in his hands. “Oh god.”

“Oh, and _then_ you told me I smelled nice, shoved your face into my chest and fell asleep,” Thor added brightly, earning another groan from Loki.

Loki pushed his untouched glass of wine farther away and laid his head on the table. “ _God_.”

“Aw come on,” Thor said as he reached under the table to give Loki’s knee a quick squeeze. “It’s not that bad, really.”

Loki lifted his head to glare at him.

The waitress came, just then, taking their orders before running off again.

“Seriously, it was… enlightening.”

Loki rested his head against his hand, holding on to the stem of his wine glass and slowly turning it. “I’m sure it was.”

Thor mirrored his position. “Tell me more about your family?”

Loki looked at him, expression carefully blank.

Thor gave him a friendly smile.

Loki sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Well, since I guess you already heard the worst of it… What _more_ do you want to know?”

“Any siblings?”

“Two,” Loki answered with a gesture of his hand. “Both brothers. One older, one younger.”

Thor snickered. “You’re a middle kid?”

Loki narrowed his eyes at Thor. “Shut it, _only child_.”

“Are you guys close?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Loki shrugged. “Because I wanted a fresh start. _A clean slate_.”

Thor furrowed his eyebrows, but said nothing.

“Next question?”

“When did your mother leave?”

“I was… _five_ , I think.”

“Wow, that’s-” Thor grimaced, completely unsure of what to say. “I’m sorry.”

Loki shrugged again, reaching for his wine and taking a sip, his hand shaking very slightly. “Next,” he said as he sat it down again.

“Did you have a favorite toy as a kid?” Thor asked, deciding change the subject before the conversation got too uncomfortable.

Loki raised an eyebrow at him. “I thought you wanted to know more about my family,” he said, obviously trying to sound annoyed, but sounding relieved more than anything.

“Just answer the question,” Thor said, nudging Loki’s foot under the table.

“Okay. It was a doll, a pretty little baby doll with these very blue eyes and I carried her _everywhere_. Which, of course, my father _hated._ That was probably half the reason I liked the thing so damn much. _What?_ ”

Thor shook his head, quickly looking away as he realized he’d been staring. “Just trying to imagine you with a baby doll.”

They paused as their waitress came to their table, setting down a plates of pasta in front of them both before scurrying away. They ate in silence for a couple minutes before Loki asked, “what was yours?”

Thor swallowed and cleared his throat before answering. “You know those little plastic car things? They ones you stick your feet through the bottom to move around? I lived in mine for at least three months.”

Loki laughed, “I think your mother showed me those pictures.”

Thor groaned, “I’ll have to remember to thank her… But yeah, I loved that thing. And I was constantly ramming it into the back of my father’s legs, I think that’s why it disappeared _mysteriously_ when I started preschool.”

Loki laughed again, shaking his head a little. “I can _easily_ imagine you doing that.”

“Hey,” Thor said, gently kicking Loki’s foot under the table, “you just be quiet and eat your spaghetti.”

Loki kicked his foot back, smirking and narrowing his eyes at Thor. “ _Make_ me.”

Thor kicked Loki’s foot once more before focusing on his plate, his face feeling hot. Jane’s words from yesterday suddenly popped into his head again.

They walked down the street after eating and paying for dinner, unable to find Thor’s parents in the restaurant. It was packed with shops, most of which were already closed for the night.

“I can’t believe your parents _really_ ditched us.”

Thor pulled his phone from his pocket and checked to see if either one of them had answered any of his messages. “They like to think they’re funny.”

Loki sighed and they walked in silence for a few minutes, coming up to a small park situated at the corner of the street, lit by a lone streetlamp. He turned and headed towards it, snow crunching under his shoes.

“What are you doing?”

Thor looked over his shoulder, grinning at the look Loki was giving him. “I wanna play on the monkey bars.”

“Thor, you are as tall as the monkey bars.”

“ _So?_ ”

Loki begrudgingly followed him, huffing loudly and pulling his coat tighter around his shoulders. Thor broke out into a run, jumping and easily pulling himself up on the top of the monkey bars, the cold metal stinging his hands. He smiled down at Loki, whose was scowling at the empty swing set. “They took down the swings.”

“There’s a teeter-totter,” Thor offered cheerily, pointing over to it.

Loki scoffed. He walked closer to Thor, standing under the bars, reaching up and loosely curling his fingers around one of them. Thor’s mouth slowly curved into a grin at the idea that came to his mind. He slid off the bars and landed in a crouch in one motion, gathering snow into his hands.

“What are you- _Augh!_ ” Loki sputtered as Thor stood and pelted him with a snowball, hands going to his face to brush off wet clumps of snow. He gaped at Thor, who grinned back as he crouched down again, already gathering more snow and packing it together.

“You are in for it. You are _going down_ ,” Loki said as he scooped up some snow in to his hands.

“ _Sure_ ,” Thor replied sarcastically, tossing another snowball at Loki, hitting the top of his head.

Loki yelped and blindly threw the snow in his hands, somehow managing to hit Thor in the face.

“Ha!”

Thor put his red, numb hands in the air, breathlessly yelling to Loki, “truce, _truce!_ ”

Loki dropped the snowball he held to the ground, bringing his hands to his face to blow on to them a few times. He was smiling, and Thor could hear his teeth chattering as they walked closer to each other.

“My hands are numb,” Loki said, voice shaking as his body shivered.

“Mine too. I think there’s a diner that stays open late a few stores away, wanna go there and get coffee?”

“Sounds wonderful.”

Thor watched with a slightly amused as Loki poured packet after packet of sugar in to his coffee, and then started in on the little cups of creamer, his fingers still a bit clumsy from the cold.

“Would you like a little coffee with that?”

Loki rolled his eyes, a hint of a smile still curling his lips. “Shut it.”

Thor turned his attention to the slice of cake between them, picking up one of the forks on the plate and stabbing into it. Loki followed suit and they ate in comfortable silence until the whole thing was gone and the plate was pushed away. Thor’s phone chimed from his pocket, startling them both and interrupting the strange staring match that had begun between them.

Thor tried to answer with an admonishing tone, but he couldn’t seem to manage it. “And _where_ have you two been?”

“We thought you two would like a night to yourselves,” his mother answered innocently. “Now, where are _you?_ ”

Thor told them the name of the diner and hung up, the both of them finishing their coffee quickly and paying, finishing up just as his parents’ car rolled to a stop in front of it.

Frigga turned as they slid into the backseat, the expression on her face turning a little puzzled.

“Why are you guys all wet?”


	10. Christmas Eve-eve

Frigga was smiling at Thor and Loki, watching them as she mindlessly poked her breakfast with her fork.

Thor glanced over at Frigga and back to Loki, eyebrow raised. “Yes, mom?”

She shook herself, finally looking away from them and down at her plate. “Nothing, darling.”

Odin came up beside her as she rinsed the dishes off after breakfast, looking over his shoulder to make sure they were alone. “What was _that_ about?”

“Has your eye gone bad? Have you been watching them?”

“Oh _no_ , what are you thinking,” Odin chuckled.

“I’m thinking Loki is going to be my son-in-law eventually,” she said, her eyes lighting up.

“Good lord… You’re planning the wedding already, aren’t you?”

“ _Well_ ,” Frigga drawled as she turned her attention back to the dishes. “I may have some _vague_ ideas.”

Thor was flicking through the television channels aimlessly at one end of the couch, while Loki stretched across the rest of it, his feet pressing into Thor’s thigh as he read. He flinched as Thor’s phone began to vibrate in his pocket, yanking his leg back. “ _Ah!_ ”

Thor looked at him sideways as he fished his phone out of his pocket. “Ticklish?”

“I _will_ kick you in the face if you try anything.”

Thor laughed as he answered his phone, his grin growing even broader. “Well, merry Christmas Eve-eve to you too.”

Loki looked away from his book and watched Thor nod along to the muffled voice of his phone.

“That sounds like it’s going to be fun… Yeah, sure, we’ll come…”

Loki dropped his head back as he heard a shuffling behind him, smiling back at Frigga as came to stand beside the couch.

Thor smiled at her when he noticed her, never breaking off from the conversation. “I’m sure my parents will want to come along too… Great, we’ll be there at eight then. Bye!”

“Remember my friend Volstagg? The one with the bar?” He asked after hanging up and pushing the phone back into his pocket, looking at Loki. He gave a short nod in reply. “He’s having a party tomorrow night and invited us all to come.”

“Ooh, that sounds fun,” Frigga said brightly, roughing up Loki’s hair. “Now scoot over, my shows are on.”

Thor sighed heavily as he did a final sit up, wrapping his arms around his knees loosely. “I can’t wait to go to the gym again.”

Loki snickered at him from where he laid across the bed, where he watched Thor doing frantic calisthenics. “You’re such a _meathead_.”

“Oh come on, I _know_ you enjoy the results,” Thor said teasingly, pursing his lips as he flexed his arms. “I catch you looking _all the time_.”

“Well, _dearest Thor_ , it’s hard _not_ to look given you take up so much damn space,” Loki replied smoothly.

“I’m sorry, were you talking?” Thor said, flexing with each word.

Loki opened his mouth to let out another retort but was interrupted by a soft knock on the guest room door. Odin poked his head inside, a look of relief washing over his face. “Oh good, you’re here.” He stepped into the room, glancing out the door once more before shutting it.

“I need to get your mother a gift.”

Thor laughed in disbelief, shaking his head at Odin. “ _Dad_ …”

“You be quiet, boy. I need your help. Both of you, come on.”

Thor and Loki looked at each other as Odin disappeared into the crowd.

“Want to try that direction?” Thor asked, gesturing in the opposite direction that Odin had gone. Loki shrugged and they began weaving through the crowd. Ducking and dodging the more aggressive last minute shoppers.

“So Thor, what did did you get me?” Loki looked at Thor sideways, voice raised to carry over the Christmas music and chatter of the store.

Thor made a face. “ _Shit_.”

Loki threw his head back with a laugh.

“I don’t even know what the hell you’d want.”

“Money, power, a harem of sexy firemen- Nothing special, really.”

“How about a bottle of good booze and a gift card.”

“I’ll accept nothing less than a hundred dollars.”

“ _Greedy_.”

Loki elbowed his side gently. “Should’ve considered that before you started not dating me.”

Thor picked up a broken piece of a plate, or perhaps a vase, from one of the many empty shelves, looking at it closely. “It looks like vultures have been picking through here.”

Loki was a few feet away, his eyes narrowed at something in another aisle. “I think there’s a dead child over there… Oh no, he was just asleep.”

“Thor! Loki! There you are…”

They both turned around at the sound of Odin’s voice, their faces twisting in confusion at the exercise ball he held in his arms.

“That’s what you’re getting mom?”

Odin sputtered, “she was just saying she needed a new one the other day-”

“ _No_ ,” Thor and Loki said simultaneously, cutting Odin off.

Loki stepped forward, taking the ball from Odin, tossing it behind them with out looking. “Have you considered getting her a new sweater?”

“ A _nice_ sweater,” Thor added.

Odin sighed, “I guess it’s a good thing I brought you two- not for my _wallet_ , probably…”

Thor yawned despite being unable to fall asleep. He turned on to his other side, facing Loki, whose eyes were, his face blank and relaxed. “What are you doing on New Years?”

“I’m _asleep_.”

Thor waited.

Loki huffed and opened his eyes. “I have an invite to some black tie party from an acquaintance of an acquaintance. You?”

“Steve’s having a party at his place.”

Loki looked at him incredulously. “Is that all you wanted to know?”

“I can’t sleep,” Thor said as an explanation.

Loki furrowed his eyebrows, but his voice held no real heat, “so you won’t let _me_ sleep either?”

“No,” Thor said, grinning.

Loki sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you do some pushups or something.”

Thor wiggled his eyebrows at him. “You want to watch again?”

Loki felt his face heat in embarrassment, and shoved Thor hard. “ _Shut up_.”


	11. Mistletoe: Not Even Once

Loki looked down at Darcy, who was currently squished between him and Thor in the backseat of Frigga and Odin’s car. “I’m curious: Do you not have a family to be with tonight?”

“I do,” she answered almost defensively. “It’s just that I’m kind of banned from our church so I can’t go to Christmas mass with them.”

Thor and Loki both looked at her for further explanation. “How do you get banned from a _church?_ ”

“I know, right? I thought it was impossible too, but Jesus apparently _cannot_ forgive you for _accidentally_ lighting a choir boy on fire,” she said, huffing loudly and crossing her arms.

They both looked at her in shock for a moment before Thor looked back and forth between his parents, who seemed nonplussed by the confession. Thor looked at his father through the rear view mirror, pleading, “seriously, get mom a puppy.”

“It was an _accident,_ ” Darcy repeated emphatically.

Loki smiled at Hogun as he slid his third pint of beer to him across the bar, taking a long pull of it as a small pack of redheaded children zoomed past him.

“You’re not going to get all drunk and weepy on me, are you?” Thor asked as he sidled up to him, leaning close as to not have to yell over the sounds of the party.

Loki turned his head to glare at him, only getting a lopsided grin in return. “I’m sure I’ll be just fine.”

Loki turned around to face the party again just Fandral came up, carrying a fishing pole with a bough of mistletoe attached to the end, aimed at Loki.

“May I?” He asked, the question directed at Thor.

Thor’s mouth hung open, suddenly unable to speak as he looked between Loki and his friend.

Loki laughed softly after Thor didn’t answer, knocking his hip into him. “Oh come on darling, it may be the only kiss he gets for a _whole year_.”

Thor stammered as Fandral slapped a hand over his heart. “Why must you hurt me so?”

“It makes the kisses better,” Loki said, the flirty tone sending a surprising stab of annoyance through Thor, as he stepped up to Fandral and grasped the back of his neck, planting a kiss on his lips. Their mouths separated a second later with a loud smack and Fandral looked at him with raised eyebrows, clapping him on the shoulder and laughing as he walked off.

He hadn’t realized he’d been glaring at the back of his friend’s head until he heard a familiar and infuriating snickering in his ear.

“Am I detecting a bit of _jealously?_ ”

“I’m- No, of course not.”

“My mistake, then.”

They silently watched the party for a few minutes before Loki spoke again. “You know, if he got rid of that mustache, he’d be right up my alley, I think.”

Thor couldn’t stop himself from squeezing the glass in his hand.

Loki laughed at him again. “I hope you don’t play poker, darling.”

Thor grumbled into his beer, emptying the glass in one go.

Frigga caught Fandral’s arm as he passed. He looked at her in surprise before putting on a flirty look. “Someone in need of a kiss over here?”

Frigga laughed, “well, it’s something like that.”

Odin grumbled beside her, “my love, _let it happen on it’s own._ ”

Frigga sighed heavily. “I just want to help a _little_.”

Fandral was looking at them in confusion now. “Huh?”

Frigga smiled. “I am in need of some strategically placed mistletoe, can you help with that?”

Fandral brightened instantly. “I think I can help with that.”

Frigga popped up in front Loki, seemingly out of nowhere, a clear plastic cup filled with punch in her hand. “Drink?”

“Oh, thanks,” Loki said taking the cup from her and taking a sip. He choked as soon as he did, his throat burning from the alcohol. “This is _strong_.”

She winked at him, taking a sip from her own drink. “I may have snuck behind the bar.”

“You’re a wild woman.”

“Just a little,” she said with a wink. “Stay right here and drink up,” she added, walking away suddenly.

Loki shrugged, taking another sip with a grimace.

“Loki looks so _lovely_ tonight, doesn’t he sweetheart?”

Thor looked down at his mother, who was giving him a knowing look. He felt his cheeks get warm at being caught staring at him. He cleared his throat and said, “yeah.”

“What are you doing over here then?” She asked pointedly.

Thor once again found himself at a loss for words. Which was starting to get a bit annoying. She pushed him with a surprising amount of force, startling him a bit.

“ _Go_ ,” she said, shooing him away.

“My mom is being weird,” he said as he walked up beside Loki.

“No kidding. She’s trying to get me drunk again,” Loki said, holding up his drink to Thor. Thor took it, his face twisting as he took a sip.

“Holy _shit_.”

“What the hell is she up to…”

They were both distracted by a loud, fake sounding cough, looking over to see Darcy with a big remote control and Fandral pointing in their direction. They looked back at each other.

That’s when they heard a little _puttering_ sound.

Floating above their heads was a small helicopter. With mistletoe attached.

“You have to kiss!” Darcy yelled, grabbing the attention of some of the other party goers who quickly joined in with whistles and shouts of their own.

“Well,” Loki sighed, “I guess we couldn’t avoid it entirely.”

Thor agreed with a chuckle, shaking his head a little at the whole situation. He let out a sigh of his own as he reached up and cupped the crook of Loki’s neck, his stomach fluttering with nerves as he leaned forward and closed his eyes.

They both moaned softly as their lips met. Loki grasped at Thor’s arms, his fingertips digging in slightly as he moved closer.

Thor pulled back, their eyes both wide as they searched each others faces. The world around them seemed muted and slow, their heavy breaths making the air between them muggy. Loki reached up, his hands cupping Thor’s cheeks before sliding into his hair and pulling him in again. Thor nearly gasped as their lips met again, his arms wrapping around Loki’s waist and crushing him against his won body. Loki moaned into his mouth, tugging on his hair in attempt to bring him even closer.

Volstagg cleared his throat loudly as he stepped beside him. “I think I need to remind you there are children here, so if you could not _you know_ …”

Thor and Loki pulled away from each other quickly, breathless and blushing, sending each other shocked glances.

Odin slid his arm around Frigga’s shoulders. “Happy now?”

“Very,” she answered, practically glowing.

“ _Good_ ,” Odin said, plucking the drink from her hand. “No more alcohol now.”

“I’m just saying: that kiss was super hot,” Darcy said, once again squished between them in the car. “ _Super_ hot.”

Loki glanced over at Thor, catching his eye, and looked away just as fast.

They were silent as they walked into the guest room. Loki kept his back turned to Thor as he carefully shut the door behind them, his mind reeling still, his stomach doing flips.

“That was, um, I-” Thor stammered, wringing his hands.

Loki turned slowly, heart jolting as their eyes met.

They crashed into each other, their hands roaming hungrily over each others bodies as they kissed each other with enough force to bruise. They dropped on to the bed heavily, the mattress giving a loud whine. Frantically, they began pulling at each others clothes, moaning with each new bit of skin that was revealed.

They stilled when Thor pushed off his boxers, kicking them off to join the rest of their clothes. Loki splayed out on the bed and Thor standing before him, wide-eyed stares constantly moving and chests heaving.

Thor moved slowly, crawling forward between Loki’s legs until their faces were just a couple inches apart again.

Loki reached up, grabbing Thor by the back of his head and pulling him down, wrapping his legs around Thor’s hips as he laid down on top of him, their cocks sliding together and making them groan.

The bed squeaked with each jerky movement of Thor’s hips, soon joined by Loki’s soft moans and whimpers.

“Oh god, _Loki_.”

“ _Thor._ ”

“I want to fuck you.”

Loki moaned, louder, his heels digging into Thor’s back.

Thor sat up suddenly, almost tripping over his own jeans as he ran the few feet to the bathroom. Blinking rapidly after turning on the light, he opened the medicine cabinet, grinning at the box of condoms and tearing them open.

Loki was at his back, looking over his shoulder. “You think she got us lube too?”

“Can we just pretend my mother didn’t buy us these?”

“I’ll check the nightstand.”

Thor ducked down to look through the cabinet below the sink, only finding cleaning supplies and rolls of toilet paper.

“Aha!” Loki called from the bedroom, clutching a small bottle victoriously. “When we get back home I’m sending her the _biggest_ bouquet of flowers imaginable.”

“ _Please_ stop talking about my mom while we’re naked.”

Loki laughed and crawled back on to the bed, Thor quickly rejoining him. They knelt int the middle of it, taking a moment to simply look at each other. Thor reached up, smiling as he pushed Loki’s hair from his face and kissed him softly.

“Romance me _later,_ ” Loki breathed, and then grabbed him, pulling himself against Thor and deepening the kiss.

Thor groaned, kissing back just as hard and pushing Loki on to his back. He snatched the lube from Loki, keeping their mouths pressed together to muffle the sounds Loki kept making as he quickly prepared him. He tore the condom open with his teeth and slipped it on, wasting no more time as he crawled farther between Loki’s legs and guided his cock to Loki’s hole, pressing in slowly.

The bed creaked and thumped with every move they made, Loki’s moaning and whimpering growing louder with every minute that passed, soon joined by Thor’s own groaning when it became too difficult to keep his own voice down.

“Fuck, _Thor!_ ”

Thor pressed his face into the crook of Loki’s neck, fucking into Loki harder and grunting with each thrust. Loki pulled on Thor’s hair with one hand, bringing their mouths together as he reached between their bellies with the other hand. Thor’s hips began to stutter as Loki groaned into his mouth, his thighs trembling and knuckles rubbing against Thor’s stomach as he stroked his own cock. He whined just as Thor gave one final shove, breathing heavy into each others mouths as their cocks spilled in unison.

Thor collapsed on to Loki with a huff, nuzzling Loki’s face.

“You weigh a fucking _ton_ ,” Loki wheezed.

Thor laughed and slowly pushed himself up, carefully pulling out and tugging off the condom before crawling off the bed to go chuck it in the bathroom. Loki was lounging on his side when he came back out, his face flushed and smiling lazily as he watched Thor walk back to the bed. Thor laid down beside him, their faces inches apart. He traced along one of the veins on Loki’s hand with a fingertip.

Loki groaned. “You want to _cuddle_ , don’t you?”

Thor grinned, slinging his arm around Loki’s waist and pulling him to his chest, humming happily as Loki squirmed and cursed under his breath.


	12. A Lot of Not-Talking Going On

“I like seeing that smile on your face,” Frigga said softly as she sat down beside Thor. Loki had gone back upstairs to change and Odin had gone up to his office to get a bit of leftover work done, leaving them alone in the living room. He could already feel his face going hot again, he felt like he’d been blushing since he and Loki had finally left their room late that morning with the constant, knowing looks they’d been getting from his parents.

“ _But_ if you try to lie to me like that again, I will be _very_ mad at you.”

Thor grimaced. “How long have you known?”

“A while. Though your father had his suspicions on the first day. I hope neither of you plan becoming actors.”

“Sorry,” Thor said sheepishly.

“You’re forgiven.” She smiled and brushed his hair back from his face, tucking it behind his ear. “And Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

They were back in the car again with a six hour drive ahead of them, though with a different sort of tension filling the air between them than the first time around. Thor pulled into an empty rest area about an hour into the drive, his hands gripping the wheel tightly, both their eyes focused forward on a line of gnarled trees and shrubs.

“We should probably talk about this. A lot has happened and… We should talk about it.”

Loki nodded in agreement.

They turned their heads to look at each other, eyes locking. Seconds later they were kissing and Loki was clumsily crawling into Thor’s lap.

Loki pulled back to breathe a minute later, flinching when his ass hit the car horn. He eyed the backseat with a smirk. “You think we can both fit back there?”

Thor twisted his head, already grinning in excitement as he looked back. “It’ll be cramped, but I think so.”

Thor collapsed on top of Loki, for lack of anywhere else to go, huffing loudly and nuzzling his face into Loki’s clothed shoulder, his feet nudging Loki’s where they hung out the open door. Loki hummed into the leather seat happily, his arm dropping off the edge and laying limp on the floor. Thor let his hand drop down beside it, threading their fingers together.

“That wasn’t talking,” Thor said tiredly, burying his nose in Loki’s hair. He shuddered as a gust of cold air blew into the car, right on to his bare ass. “That was like, the _opposite_ of talking.”

Loki made a soft noise in his throat and shrugged. “We’ll talk when we get back.”

Thor walked towards his office in something of a haze. He was tired, _unbelievably_ tired, but he couldn’t get the smile off his face even if someone paid him to. His mind went over the past few days, which were all spent in Loki’s bed, and couch, and floor, and shower. He had invited Thor up to his apartment when they had finally managed to make it there, so they could finally talk about _all this_ , he said.

They never actually managed to have that talk. They did talk about other things, though, so he couldn’t complain.

“Thor!”

Thor spun around and smiled as Steve jogged up to him, who looked a little relieved to see him.

“Not gonna lie, I got a little worried when you didn’t show up at the party and didn’t answer your phone.”

Thor gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry about that. I got kind of… caught up in something.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at him. “Some _thing?_ ”

Thor let out a breathy laugh. “It’s kind of a long story.”

“ _Ooh_. That sounds like a story.”

Thor looked up as the elevator doors opened and Loki stepped out, his suit sharp and fitted and his hair combed back neatly. Thor felt his heart thudding hard in his chest, even harder when Loki looked up and their eyes met from across the room, the tight line Loki’s lips instantly curving into a smile even as he forced himself to look away. He ducked his head as he made his way to his own office, which was in the opposite direction of Thor’s.

“ _Thor?_ ”

Thor shook himself, laughing again as he clapped Steve on the shoulder, already walking around him and heading towards Loki’s office. He said, distractedly, “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Steve watched him in bewilderment as Thor nearly broke out into a run. “O…kay…”

Thor glanced around before knocking on Loki’s door, which swung open instantly, and was greeted by Loki’s excited face. He grabbed Thor’s tie and nearly dragged him inside, shoving him against the door and kissing him as soon as it was shut. Thor responded instantly, kissing him back just as hard and sliding his hands under Loki’s jacket, pulling their bodies together.

“I missed you,” Thor huffed against Loki’s lips as he guided them towards the desk.

Loki laughed, sliding up on to the edge of it when the back of his thighs bumped into it. “It’s only been few hours.”

“I know, and it’s been _terrible_.”

Loki laughed again, then sighed, squeezing Thor’s arm gently as he pulled away and looked up at Thor. “We can’t do this here.”

“You’re right,” Thor said, whining _just a bit_ as he did. He rested his forehead against Loki’s, smiling softly. “You look nice.”

Loki gave him a lopsided smile, his hands sliding under Thor’s jacket and up Thor’s chest. “Your shirt is too tight.”

“Is that so?”

“ _Yes_. It’s very distracting.”

Thor chuckled, tipping his chin forward and kissing him. Loki moaned quietly, his hands sliding into Thor’s hair.

Thor pulled back minutes later, standing with a happy sigh, his hand coming up to cup Loki’s cheek.

“So, do you have lunch free today?”


	13. Have Yourself a Merry Little Epilogue

~Next Christmas~

Darcy hopped off the table and gave Thor a thumbs up from across the bar before quickly scurrying off. Thor looked over at Loki, who, thankfully, was still staring at his phone, his thumbs moving quickly over the screen. He slid his arm around Loki's waist, easily guiding him towards the corner booth Darcy just left. He glanced over at his parents, huddled at the bar and grinning at them. Thor winked when his mother mouthed the words “good luck” to him.

Loki scoffed beside him, his phone chiming again. “ _Why_ did I let you convince me to talk to my brothers again? Now they won't stop _bugging_ me.” He huffed and pressed the phone to his ear.

“How _horrible_ ,” Thor said sarcastically.

“I'm sure wherever you guys can stick us will be _fine_... Well _of course_ she's excited to meet me, who wouldn't be...”

Thor chuckled and guided Loki into the booth, sliding in beside him. Everyone else at the party had gone quiet, their excited murmuring drowned out by the Christmas music playing through the old speakers. Thor turned towards Loki, resting his arm across the top of the seat, his fingers tangling in to the curled ends of Loki's hair, as he waited for him to finish his call.

“I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I'm at a party right now. Okay, bye. And Merry Christmas.”

Loki sighed as he hung up, tossing the phone on to the table. “I'm not touching _that_ again for the rest of the night.”

He looked over at Thor, who was staring at him with a dopey grin that meant he was up to _something_ , and cocked a brow at him. “What?”

Thor said nothing and looked up at the ceiling.

Loki's eyes went wide when he looked up and saw the silver ring hanging from a plastic bunch of mistletoe, glinting in the colorful lights as it swung from a red ribbon. He looked back at Thor, who was smiling like a _complete_ idiot as he watched Loki. Loki suddenly noticed how quiet it had become in the bar and realized that everyone was watching them.

Thor knelt in the seat and reached up, yanking down the mistletoe and ring and flopped back into his seat. He pulled the ring off the ribbon and held it out to Loki, his hand shaking a little.

“Will you marry me, Loki?”

Loki's mouth hung open as he looked at Thor and tried to form a response. He laughed, covering his mouth with his hands as he shifted closer to Thor. “God, Thor, you're such romantic _idiot_ ,” he said, finally, and grabbed Thor's face and pulled him close. “I can't believe I'm going _marry_ you.”

Thor let out a breath he must've been holding and wrapped his arms around Loki, hugging him tightly and kissing him hard. The crowd erupted in cheers, hooting wildly as they continued to kiss, oblivious to the everything around them.

Thor pulled back first, his hand still trembling as he grabbed Loki's and slipped the ring on to his finger, giving a quick kiss to the knuckle it sat above.

Loki held up his hand, examining and admiring the shiny ring, and let out a pleased hum at the sight of it.

He dropped his hand when a thought crossed his mind.

“I hope you're not planning on having a Christmas _wedding_. All that red and green would look so damn tacky.”


End file.
